Dedicated. Sr Jane Mary

Buried at Westcliff-on-Sea, where she died, Sr Jane Mary is one of few Sisters who are not buried at Ditchingham. I have no idea why she died there: whether she was staying with her friends, or whether she had been ill and was there to convalesce; whether she knew she was dying when she went. I do know that she had friends nearby, as they arranged for her burial. M. Louisa was present, but (as far as I know) no other Sisters went. Neither do I know for certain who those friends were, and whether they were family members or not. If the latter, it may be possible to discover; if not, I may never know.

Born in Salisbury in 1854, Mary Jane Young was the oldest of at least four children, with another 3 half-siblings, who were all much younger than her. The two sisters nearest to her in age disappear from the record, as far as I can tell, after only one appearance in the Census: Anne (age 2, in 1861) may have died in 1862 and Honor, who was aged 5 in 1871. The youngest sister, Alice Naomi, lived into adulthood; in 1891, she is living with her sister, Mary. Their mother, Elizabeth, died at some point between the 1871 census and early 1877, when their father Frederick married again to Martha Gayland, who I think was a widow with one daughter. Whether Mary actually lived with her stepmother at any point is uncertain; she would have been in her 20s when they married, and in 1881 is boarding while working as a draper’s assistant. Alice, aged only 12, was living with them in that census and with two younger half-siblings: Grace, aged 3, and Frederick, aged 0. Sadly, both Grace and Frederick died young, Frederick later that year, and Grace, aged 6, in 1884. Another sibling, Nellie, was born in 1884. At some point before 1891, Frederick, their father, also died. It must have been a difficult time. By 1891, Martha is living with her daughters, Alice Gayland and Nellie Young, while working as a confectioner. Alice Gayland seems to be working with her, and it is possible that her stepdaughter, Alice Young, did too. In 1891, Alice Naomi Young is living with her older sister Mary, while working as a confectioner’s assistant. I do not know whether it is the same confectioner, but it seems possible. Mary is stated as ‘living on her own means’, presumably from the income from four boarders who lived with them. How she found the means to transform from draper’s assistant to boarding house keeper would be an interesting story, if we but knew the details. Alice Naomi Young may much later have moved to Southend-on-Sea, and is possibly one of the friends who arranged for Sr Jane Mary’s burial in nearby Westcliff. Martha continues living in West Ham, in 1891 just with her daughter Nellie, who was working as a dressmaker.

How did the Young family move from Salisbury to West Ham? In Mary’s baptismal record, Frederick’s occupation is labourer; he seems to have used his middle name, and is often in the records as George, but I believe it is the same person. By 1861, they are living in Hampshire, where he is still a labourer; by 1871, they are in West Ham, and Frederick is working as a dock labourer, an occupation that continued in 1881. Frederick stayed in West Ham for the remainder of his life, as did Martha, while Alice and Nellie both stayed in the London/Essex area. By 1939, Nellie is living with her husband in Hornchurch. Mary and Alice were living in Hornsey in 1891.  Mary moved a few years after this to join the Community of All Hallows.  Exactly when, and how she made contact with us, I do not know. I do not have a record of how many years she was ‘in religion’; this is normally stated on our gravestone, but, of course, Sr Jane Mary is buried in Westcliff on Sea, and I do not know what it says. She was professed in 1898, and, as a Lay Sister, she would have had a three or four year Noviciate, which takes us back to approximately 1894.

Exactly what she did in the Community is also not certain, as she lived in the Community House. As a Lay Sister, she would have had no part in the governance of the Community, except for a vote in the election of the Superior, and that not until the 1920s, if my memory serves me correctly. Lay Sisters attended only four of the seven Offices throughout the day, unless their duty permitted them to attend more. They did not hold any of the major posts in the Community, but could hold minor ones as appropriate. They had less prayer time than Choir Sisters. Looking back, it must have been a struggle; possibly appropriate in our earlier years, but I know that by the 1920s there was some disquiet about the whole system, with some women entering as Choir Sisters who would have been Lay Sisters in the past, due to increasing levels of education. The system was eventually ended in 1944, over ten years after Sr Jane Mary’s death in 1933. When she entered, the Choir/Lay distinction may have seemed quite natural, but she would have been aware of the discussions and disquiet around in her later years. I think the whole Community found it a relief once the system ended.

There are a few interesting points about all this. One is Sr Jane Mary’s name: it will have occurred to you that she swapped her two middle names around. Sr Ann Mary did the same thing. I have no idea why, but I guess it was something to do with the number of Sisters whose first name was Mary; to put it as a second name made it easier to distinguish between them. The other is Sr Jane Mary’s burial away from Ditchingham, which may have been due to the logistics of transporting her body back. But it is unusual. What strikes me most about Sr Jane Mary’s life, though, is her dedication. Her dedication throughout over 30 years of commitment to CAH, and to life in the Community House. Beyond that, her dedication to her God, through whatever drew her to CAH, and whatever changes her life brought. That she is buried away from the rest of the Community makes no difference in the end: her life is held in God.