Lament. Sr Mary Rose

Back in October 2023, I wrote about two birth Sisters who both joined the Community in our early days: Sr Mary Rose and Sr Alice. I want to focus today on Sr Mary Rose, and her life in Community. Some of this will have been mentioned in the earlier blog, but it bears repeating, if only to set the context. Mary Rose Wade was clothed as a novice in 1865 and professed on St Barnabas Day in 1867, only the fifth Sister to be professed in the Community. Known as Sr Mary Rose, she presumably used both names to distinguish herself from Sr Mary Sophia, who was professed about a month before her. In 1871, Sr Mary Rose was living in the House of Mercy, but that tells us little of her work, as at that time the House of Mercy was also the mother house of the Community. The only Sisters living elsewhere are those working in the Orphanage which had opened in the 1860s, and a lay Sister, running a school in the village. By 1871, several more Sisters had joined the Community, so Sr Mary Rose was one of eight living in the House of Mercy, some of whom were novices. Born in 1846, Sr Mary Rose was one of the younger Sisters, and was only in her early twenties when she was professed. Sr Mary Sophia and Sr Catherine, professed the year after Sr Mary Rose, were both more than ten years older. While some Sisters did join at a much older age, there were others who joined while still quite young, and Sr Mary Rose was one of two or three Sisters of about the same age.

According to the census, Sr Mary Rose stayed in the House of Mercy for the next twenty years, implying that she was working directly in that house, as the Community House was built in the 1870s, and after that only Sisters working there lived in the House of Mercy. This would not have been easy work. The House of Mercy took in fallen women and trained them as domestic servants. We know very little about their background, or what led them to Ditchingham. While initially many of the women were in the 20s, some were only in their teens, and, over time, this changed so that most of the House of Mercy girls were teenagers. Whatever in their lives had gone astray, something had happened to lead them to the House of Mercy, and it was here that they were encouraged to change and develop more stable lives. We know from subsequent letters that many became Christians, and lived lives they would not have had without it, although it is true that we were not able to help all who came to us. It is in this context that Sr Mary Rose spent most of her early life at Ditchingham, and it was hard work. It is thought that she may also have been Sister-in-Charge at the Orphanage, but we have no record of the dates, although it must have been in between the census years. In 1871, 1881 and 1891, she is registered at the House of Mercy. By 1891, she appears to be Sister-in-Charge there, with five other Sisters working under her, and two Third Order Sisters.

We know that she was Sister-in-Charge at the House of Mercy in 1899, when she was elected Reverend Mother. This would have been a difficult time for the Community, and M. Mary Rose’s leadership may well have been crucial. M. Lavinia, our foundress, had remained in charge until her death in 1890; her co-foundress, M. Adele, had then taken over, until her own death in 1896. Both these women had been part of the Community from its’ beginning, and both would have been important figures among the rest of the Sisters. Their deaths, whether expected or not, would have been shattering. On M. Adele’s death, Sr Lucy was elected. Much younger than her predecessors, Sr Lucy had been professed in 1881, and was in her mid-50s when she became Reverend Mother. East and West, the Community magazine, states that the Sisters had thought that she might be in post for years. I suspect that this was someone who it was thought could bring stability to the Community, and lead it in to the future without either of our founding Sisters. While it is impossible to know how much she accomplished, Sr Lucy was responsible for the 1898 constitution. But her health failed, and she laid down the burden of Office shortly before her death in June 1899. The Community had lost three leaders in ten years.

Sr Mary Rose, by now in her 50s, was elected to replace Sr Lucy. She was to remain in post until 1917, when she was 71. Her new role meant a move from the House of Mercy to the Community House, and by 1901 Sr Sara was in charge of the House of Mercy. Sr Mary Rose remained at the Community House, as far as I can tell, for the rest of her life. Her years in charge covered the new century, and most of the first world war. Quite what her legacy as Superior was, it is difficult to tell without more research in the archives. She died suddenly in June 1931, aged 85, and after 66 years in religion. She was the longest remaining Sister in the Community, and had seen many Sisters go to their rest before her. Writing her story, it strikes me how much loss she had during the course of her life. Not just as Sisters died, but also losses due to her work: the girls at the House of Mercy stayed only two years, then there was the change of role when she became Reverend Mother, and the laying down of that role, to say nothing of possible losses of health. I have no idea whether she felt these losses, or whether she was in part ready for some of the changes, but loss, whatever the origin, brings grief that we need to give ourselves time to express, without feeling that we have to be ‘moving on’. The tradition of coming before God in lament can be helpful in this context, allowing ourselves to simply bring our feelings before God, without necessarily expecting them to be solved.

Sr Mary Rose