It was probably inevitable. At some point, once Jesus had started his ministry, John the Baptist’s disciples were going to start getting a bit disgruntled. Here were they, followers of the first prophet to arise for a generation, and now this other man had appeared. He’d actually been baptised by John, but now he was gathering followers of his own, and those followers had actually started baptising as well. People were flocking to this Jesus fellow, rather than coming to hear John’s wise words. It didn’t help that some of Jesus’ followers had originally been disciples of John. Disciples such as Andrew. It would obviously come to the time when they would bring this to John’s attention. Did he realise, they asked, that this Jesus was also baptising?
I don’t know what sort of answer they expected, but possibly not the one they got. Although, really, they should have known what the answer would be. John had made it clear that he had come as ‘a voice calling in the desert, prepare the way of the Lord’. John was not seeking for status, but to follow God’s will. He told his disciples that no one could have anything that was not given them from God. He had already mentioned that he had been sent in anticipation of the Messiah; now, Jesus must increase and he, John, must decrease. John did not have a problem with that. He had come to prepare the way for Jesus, and now that Jesus was here, his work would change. It was never about John; it was about God. (see John 3:22-30; also John 1:35-42).
But how many of us have John’s attitude to the work we do? How many of us are seeking status, or affirmation, rather than to spread the Kingdom of God? It is not always easy to know. Of course, we may well enjoy what we are doing; of course, we may gain satisfaction from it. But is that our actual motivation for doing it? Or are we simply concerned with following Jesus and doing whatever is asked of us? Mostly, our motivations will be mixed, and we may find that, just as John had to decrease while Jesus increased, so as our lives move on, our motivations change as well. That, on our journey of faith, we find ourselves and our needs decreasing while Jesus increases. It is a journey, and we will not get to the end in this life; as St Paul says, we press on towards the goal (see Philippian 3:12-16).
Having said that, it is worth taking some time to pray every now and then about our motivation and why we do what we do. Not in any way that would be judgemental, but simply to acknowledge before God that this is our truth, this is where we are now, and to allow the Holy Spirit into that, to work with as God wills. To allow the Spirit to change us, so that increasingly we can focus on God’s way, rather than our own. To allow those words of John to become true in our own lives: Jesus must increase and I must decrease. Although, even then, we must be careful. It would be easy to take these words in a negative, self-critical way, which would be far from the truth. This is not about condemning ourselves, or rejecting ourselves. That is not a way in which Jesus will increase in us; it will merely increase our preoccupation with self in a different way.
But what if you do have an issue with self-esteem, or have a poor self-image or simply do not like yourself? What if your work for God is what actually affirms you, helps you keep going? What if the seeking for status, if you do seek for status, covers up a whole load of other issues, and is (at present) necessary to you? What if you read those words – Jesus must increase and I must decrease – as yet another nail in the coffin of anything good about yourself? That even the good you do is not good for it involves self-seeking? All I can say is that many of these questions are real issues and do need answering. I would also say, again, that it is totally normal, and a part of our journeys towards God. But I do not think I can address these issues properly in a blog. I would urge you to seek a spiritual director or counsellor or other help, to examine what is going on for you. Bearing in mind, of course, that these are only my thoughts, and you are welcome to disagree.
They are not thoughts intended to condemn you or make your life more difficult. They are aimed at helping you grow more closely to God, to become more and more aware of the amazing love God has for you. Ultimately, that is what this is all about. John did not need to seek status, for he was aware of his calling, and of who God was. So he was content to follow God’s path, and prepare the way for Jesus. As we become more and more aware of the love God has for each one of us, we may find we can accept our status as God’s beloved children; see that as the important part, and what we do as only a response. I do acknowledge that life has a way of making this more difficult. But that is where we are aimed at, eventually: God’s kingdom, where all know they are loved and all respond as part of that love; where everyone knows that all they have has been received from God, and all they give is giving back of God’s own. It is not here yet, but it will be.

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